My Best Kept Secret

I’m sorry that my worth couldn’t make you stay longer. 

I’m sorry that the way that I laugh and the way that I think was not enough.

I’m sorry that you put limits on my feelings,

because you don’t want to deal with them.

I guess you thought that they could be told where to go. 

I’m sorry that I let you down when I should have lifted you up.

I was young and selfish and overwhelmed.

My current behavior cannot make up for the mistrust that past mistakes have created.

Now a chance with you is only rendered in a dream. 

I’m sorry that you feel this way.

I’m sorry that when you wanted me I reduced us to fun and games;

I was under the impression that we viewed each other as such.

I labeled us to protect myself. 

I didn’t think about a future because I didn’t know you cared enough to have one. 

Two years later here I am,

apologizing for things I haven’t even done,

feeling regretful about “then”

because it effects us now.

I guess it’s best that we don’t text or talk on the phone anymore.

I guess it’s best that you’re out of sight and out of mind. 

I guess it’s best that I don’t tell you that I love you.

I’m sorry that you’ll never know.

Poet: Stefanie Parrott

 

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