I miss you so much it hurts.
I’ve been here before,
but this stings a lot more,
because I envisioned the world with you.
I think that I hate you.
You sound so nonchalant when I pour the contents of my heart into your hands.
You are so comfortable with having fractions of me,
I guess I’m not good enough whole.
How is it that the same reasons you love me,
are the same reasons you’re willing to let me go?
I don’t get this.
I don’t get you.
I can’t torture myself anymore.
I think back to the exact moment we met,
and I look at where we are now.
Had I known that you’d end up being such a vital part of my life,
I would have never played that game with you.
I would have never entertained the idea,
had I known that I would lose.
I’ll look back on our depart and laugh.
My girlfriends and I will talk about the time I struggled to get over you.
We’re going to talk about the next man,
and how even you could never measure up.
I hope that day comes sooner than later.
I hope this winter won’t be so hard to bear.
I had this image of us in my mind,
enjoying the holidays;
having you around would ease the pain.
Instead, I am resentful.
I am grieving.
I hate you,
because we could’ve had the world.
Poet: Stefanie Parrott