It’s the New Year,
and you’re happy you made it,
but there’s an underlying discomfort beneath it all.

You made your list of resolutions,
and you’ve told yourself over and over again that you and your circumstances will change.

Are those tears flowing down your face?
Are they plopping onto that piece of paper and blurring the lines of good intentions?

You’re hurting
because you could not delete all that happened leading up to the transition from 11:59 to 12:00.

The world acknowledges it and celebrates it,
but –
do you?

You begin to think about all that transpired:
What you gained, what you lost, what you’re unsure of –
and you try to make sense of it all.

You understand that the start of this year is a clean slate for others, but it’s a continuum for yourself.

You’re scared.
You want old things and people back
and you want to give the man you love a call
and you want to tell your mother your worries and you want God to sit down with you at that tiny table in the kitchen.

You’re happy in spite of the hurt,
but weariness walks right beside you.
It’s okay to want to turn and run the other way…
Just make sure you don’t.

Poet: Stefanie Parrott


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