One thing I hate about modeling: taking digitals. Before I got signed to my mother agency, and even now as I submit to prominent agencies, I absolutely loathe using my digitals. I feel naked without having my brows filled or my mascara on, and I have the type of body that needs to be seen in person since my physique is deceiving. Ex: Majority of my followers on Instagram who haven’t met me, think I’m 5’8″ when I’m actually 5’5″.

I knew before I decided to pursue modeling, how cut-throat and ironic of an industry it is. You are paid for your “look” yet constantly critiqued because of it. People don’t realize that there are many types of modeling, but getting your foot in the door is still a daunting task; having longevity is another conversation.

My measurements are 36-28-41. The average, “prototype” of a model signed to most agencies have a 24 waist and MAYBE a 35 hip (dress size 2). I’m considered too big for premier agencies that don’t have a plus-sized division, and too small for plus-sized agencies because I have abs. Crazy, right?

As models, we’re taught to “own it,” to examine what separates us from the girl in front of us or beside us at the go-see or casting call and to play off of those distinctions. We’re told to embrace ourselves because the right agent will sign us and advance our career. Yet, our self-love isn’t reflected in the retouched photos we receive that are severely airbrushed, enlarged, or show no traces of our freckles, beauty marks or stretch marks – parts of ourselves that remind us that we’re human, and most importantly, real.

Agents and casting directors want to see you raw and uncut before a contract is put on the table, but when your work is publicized, those two concepts fall away. We’re so used to seeing women covered in makeup and surgically modified, that we do a double-take on those portraying natural beauty, because many members of society don’t always believe that natural beauty is actually appealing.

Anyway, this passage has come to an end. When I started writing this post …. I hated this picture. But now, I think I’m a starting to love it.

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