After my Grandmother passed away, my dog would constantly look for her. She would go into her room and search alongside her bed; she’d even lay in her doorway with her head resting in her paws, watching the top of the stairs.

On a daily basis, she would sunbathe on the porch, right next to my Grandmother while she read her Bible and watched the cars go by. So when Nyla wasn’t in Grandmere’s room, she would look for her there. But eventually, she stopped.

I always wondered: at what point did my dog realize that Grandmere was never coming home? What told her that she was gone for good? Maybe nothing extraordinary had to occur for her to know such a thing. Maybe she just got tired of waiting…

Because, like humans, even animals have the ability to feel. I can imagine that after Nyla’s initial disappointment in Grandmere’s absence came pain, and after the pain, she just gave up.

Similar to Nyla, that’s what I want(ed) to do: curl up on the couch and snore my heartache away, but I can’t. Instead, I’m writing this passage, comparing the parallels of a human heart and a dog heart, because both of us still miss Grandmere… but only one of us is still hurting.


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