I want to force my feet onto the floor,
so that I can make my way out of bed.
I envision myself heading to the bathroom
so that I can brush my teeth,
shower, and start my day.

But most times,
I don’t move.
If I do, it may be to eat –
or maybe to get some more tissues.
It’s not always the worst thing;
to lay here.

My memory works well,
and because of that,
I can write to relieve the thoughts
that overtake me.
That way, when I think of us kissing,
I ache a little less.
I wrap my arms around myself and
get used to not having yours.

I’m going to throw out my graduation and birthday cards;
even the handwritten card I never gave to you.
They’re all just reminders that I don’t need.
As I mentioned before, I have enough.

I’m not mad at myself for feeling the way that I do.
There is no shame, or guilt, or denial.
I’m allowing this recovery to take its course.
I love you with all of me,
so all of me must heal.

Poet: Stefanie Parrott

Part Six of the #ReasonsWhyImSingle Series.


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